Wednesday, January 14, 2015

To Those Who Have Wondered

"Wondered what?", you ask.

Let's begin with the crux of the matter.

Do you see this cross-section of laundry?

Yes?  Now, multiply that by 1,327.  Got it?  If you will, imagine that alarming amount of clean, unfolded laundry in 14 separate laundry baskets.  These laundry baskets will vary in size, shape, and color, some are blue and some are black, some are missing handles and most are cracked, one will impale you with spikes if you carry it the wrong way.  Are you with me?  Finally, imagine them piled on top of each other in a haphazard manner.  In your mind, you should see The Great Wall of China or the walls of Jericho, for you Bible scholars.  This is the current situation at the foot of our bed.  Poor Mass Hysteria can barely make it to his side of the bed and Chaos fears that these baskets may fall and crush his tiny body as he walks by.  Laundry Avalanche!!
These are their faces as they consider the massive laundry phenomenon that is our bedroom.

So, back to the original question...What would Rachel do to avoid all this laundry?

Would she alphabetize her spices?

Most assuredly.

Would she attempt new yoga poses?  Yes; there will, however, not be a picture of that attempt as some forms of humiliation are better left to the imagination.

Would she take a lovely photo of a shoe in the sun

and then subsequently plan places to hang the aforementioned shoe picture?
Without a doubt.

Would she watch a two-hour block of Grey's Anatomy reruns?  She certainly would.

Would she roll her hair with 25-year-old ConAir Hot Rollers?
Indeed.  Indeed.

Would she call her friend, Jennifer Early, and have a 1 hour discussion about childbirth and the heinousness of fruit cake cookies?

Yes, indeedy.

Would she write a blog post detailing ways that she would avoid folding laundry?
The proof is in the pudding.

So, to those of you who have wondered, Rachel will go to disturbing lengths to avoid folding laundry.
Thank you and have a nice day.

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